Friday, October 17, 2008

When will I find peace and joy?

It's been almost 7 months now since my angel baby has went to Heaven. In my heart I feel so empty with words especially when I know that I should be in prayer. Why do I feel so down? Why do I feel happy at times and then something or someone just brings me down again? Why do I let me feelings get hurt so bad? Why does someone elses pregnancy hurt me? Why can I just be happy for them? I am so lost with words.... Sometimes I sit and wonder if I will ever find peace and joy for others...

I guess this comes with time of grieving after a miscarriage.... I know im not alone but I do feel alone...

Lord please help me get out of this cloud that seems to creep up to me everytime I feel as if all is well BOOM something or someone says irritates the crap out of me... I know im not perfect, I have feelings and emotions because im only human, but Lord please help me. I don't want to hurt any longer I just want to be happy.... I leave all of this in your hands!

Ok I vented!

3 comments:

Amy Fichtner said...

It sure feels good to vent. I am sure the feel of your loss will lessen with time. I too had a miscarrriage. It was my second pregnancy.

AmandaHoyt said...

Mel, I'm right there with you. Things seem to be getting more painful as the days stagger on. Why didn't we get to meet, hold and kiss our babies? We know the Lord had other plans for our babies but it hurts our hearts so much! We will get through this. He will carry us through it. Amen.
Hugs and prayers,
Amanda

The Baker's said...

Mel,
It is okay to vent, thats what friends are for to listen and lend a shoulder. I too feel that way sometimes to be happy for others that have what I long for a baby or to be pregnant and others that don't appreicate what they have.
I am really struggling with the fact that my brother is a parent before me, and they are not married, and not have the money to support this child. But I keep telling myself that it is not the babies fault that this happen, so I have to make the most of it for the child. For some reason I feel God in this situation, cause my nephew was born on the day that I was remembering my angels in heaven.

I pray that God will give us the strength and hope in the days to come as we continue to heal from our losses. Lord gives us patience in you as we wait for your plan to be reveiled to us.

HUgs