Saturday, October 18, 2008

Still....

I am still feeling down... Thanks to all of you who have left me an encouraging message... I truly appreciate them all... Today I actually counted how many pregnant ladies and how many newborns I saw. 4 pregnant ladies and 2 beautiful newborns... The JOY that each mother had on their faces and I am sure the look they saw from my face wasn't very pretty as I want to be happy for them. I feel as if I can't control these emotions that run thru my head. Sometimes I wonder if people watch my face when im places and see pregnant ladies or newborns...

Lord forgive me! Ahhhh its that rollercoaster feeling again and also the feeling of walking away little by little from my walk with my Lord & Savior.

Please keep me in your prayers.

7 comments:

AmandaHoyt said...

Mel, I'm so sorry you're feeling down again today. Just know that you are NOT alone. I know that music helps me when I'm feeling my worst - try listening to "You're Not Alone" by Meredith Andrews or "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. They are both amazing songs.
Love,
Amanda

Melina said...

You are strong! Stronger than you even know. Keep your faith, and you know where it will get you. I love you and just wish that you were near so I could show you how much you mean, and really show you how strong you are....lots of people are rooting for you, and it will forever continue...

NeNe said...

Aww honey, I totally understand. Hang in there- God is still there, even when hope feels small. Sending love and hugs!

THE MOMMY said...

Hi, I, too, share the grief of a miscarriage last Jan. Boy, its such a heartache. It's good that God gives grace, and we know it's all in his hands. I'm praying for you.

Greg and Lauren said...

Hey Girl! I have been thinking about you lately and I want you to know that I did the same thing. I had days where I was so angry and envious of what other pregnant ladies had that I did not anymore. But you know, God touches us and is with us even when we are down. Thank Goodness, because we would never make it without His Hands and His Grace. It has been a little over two years since we miscarried and I will still have a wave of sadness and grief. But, I know God has a reason for everything that He does...and I am ok with that. Hang in there girl...you are being so strong...Hang on to that Faith of yours....

The Petersons said...

I've never stopped to count all of the pregnant women or babies I encounter throughout the day, but I notice EVERY single one of them. There are days that I've left WalMart and been astounded at the number of pregnant bellies I saw in the store. It causes my heart to sink a little because I so wish I was in their shoes. It's not that I think ill of them or want them to not have the blessings that they do. I just don't always understand why God gives and takes away differently to different people. I know that He's calling me towards something big, though, in my infertility. And I know that I will have a beautiful story to tell when it's all over.

Thank God, there's grace in the suffering. I'll post about that soon :-)

Misty Rice-Baniewicz said...

Hang in there girl..... when your time is here...these moments will be far in the distant. You are strong and God is working on something very special for you. May not be YOUR plan, but it will surely be the BEST plan.