Thursday, January 29, 2009

As of...

Feb. 27th I will no longer have a J.O.B! I am at my wits ends because I have never gone thru being laid off. I know who is in control and I know I need to leave it in His hands but at the same time im worried as I am human!

Has anyone filed un-employment? I am thinking of looking into it but I don't know about it. I am and have been looking for a job since the summer of last year. I have a few people looking for me too so I am blessed by that. My husband is totally supportive and I am grateful.

Please lift me up in prayer please. I am a little bummed since i had a budget going!

I'm holding on to this verse!
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I will never forget...

January 28, 2008 will never be forgotten in my heart! This was the day that I called the OB department at the hospital to receive the BEST news ever in my life! These words that I will NEVER forget... "Congrats Mrs. R you are pregnant!" I am sure the nurse on the phone had no idea why I was quiet and crying... I said "Ma'am thank you so much I have been waiting for 4 years for a positive test!" She sounded so excited for me and set me up my 1st OB appt.

My heart is heavy and I am sad. I thought the grief was already on its way out of my heart but it's not. It's even harder when you receive one of these in the mail:

If you aren't able to read what it says here it is: "Congratulations your new baby is finally here!" (**I wish**) I really wish I would have never of asked for these type of things to come in the mail, but unfortunatly they are...

Ugggg what a day...

Well enough of my pity party! I will go a do what helps me heal... Crocheting...

I love you my sweet angel~i~Nehemiah....


Sunday, January 25, 2009

It's Official!

It's official that I finally decided on no more TTC'ing. (I can hear ya'll saying awwwww) No it's not awwww it's Praise God for He is the one that knows when it's our timing and I have to learn that I have to give everything to Him. I am not in control! I have canceled all my GYN appointments and will not take anymore medications!

Here's something I just discovered as I was typing this (Thank you Lord!):

We were living in NY for about 3 1/2 years because my husband is in the Army. I worked for a church that I love and am so blessed by called Parkside Bible Church. That is where I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and saw many things in my life change. When I found out we were going to have to leave NY to move to another state because my husband had to be a Drill Sgt. I was devastated! To make a long story short I came across this little journal book that would be my book for my church family to write their email addresses. You would never believe the scripture that is in front of it with a design! "He has made everything beautiful in its time..." Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

When I got this journal book I didn't really get it for the verse on it BUT I know why I got it NOW! Thank you Lord!
Yes I am about to put it out there... For the past few years of TTC'ing my life hasn't been the greatest. It's not easy, it's alot of stress, and it's(i mean stressing) not good for my marriage. I have learned that I can not have it my way anymore... The let downs I've had over the past few months have been painful ones BUT I've learned that thru Him all things are possible! I know I've said plenty of times WHY?, THIS IS NOT FAIR, WHY HER AND NOT ME, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND and I have learned that those words are negative and I want to live positive. Many loved ones have seen me pushing them away little by little but are always there to pick me up with an encouraging message and I thank ya'll for that. It's a time in my life that I have had to find myself in all of my grief, but while at church today I learned that GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY GRIEF! AMEN!!!

I am moving forward as I said before in another post... This year I am pointing towards goals in my life and with Him I can do it! I thank each of you for hoping and praying for a BFP for me. This will be my last post about TTC'ing!

TTC for me will now be called GITG... GIVING IT TO GOD!


~i~ Melanie

Thursday, January 22, 2009

What the heck!

Ok so forget about the private blog.... It's a pain and it seems that the last update on certain blogs are from the "going private" post.

Sorry for the confusion as I didn't have everyone's email address under the permissions section because I would forget, etc...

Sorry ladies...

Update on Grandma

Thanks to all of you who left me a comment!! She is one strong 82 yr old. grandma!!!

This update is from my sister:

I pray that all of you are having a good morning. I just got another update and wanted to let you know that we are continuing to pray for Luz Maria Maldonado/Abuela. We are praying for complete healing in her body, specifically her heart and that God gives the Doctors wisdom and knowledge as to what is best. Please continue to pray for her, the strength in all of us as family, and complete recovery after the procedure.

They plan to do a cauterization, stent, etc to her heart this afternoon. She slept well and will undergo this procedure today. Mom is waiting for the doctor to make a final decision.

Keep your prayers coming!!! To God be the Glory!!!

We love your Abuela...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Please pray for my family!

Hello my awesome prayer warriors!

Thank you Amanda and Maria for posting prayer requests for my grandma, Luz Maria.

My grandma suffered a mild heart attack today and the Dr.'s were worried about a blood clot. The results came back NEGATIVE for a blood clot. (there's that word again but it's a good thing:) She has been transported to a bigger and better hospital and is being taken care of quiet well! Here is a pic of her that my mom just texted me:
Doesn't she look good after having a mild heart attack??? My sister did a call down while I tried to hold back the tears while at work and we all interceded in prayer as soon as my customers left. Thanks to all who are and will be praying for my grandma. Tomorrow is the day where they will figure out what to do as she has been having many episodes of fainting. She is a Diabetic with heart problems and High blood pressure as well and has had about 2 strokes. (Love you Abuela!)

Also if each of you all can keep my sister, Fay, in your prayers and her family (16yr, 8yr, and 3yr old). My brother in law deploys in just **a little while** to the middle east and we are needing lots of prayers as this is my sisters first time experiencing this him gone. He will be gone from 12 to 15 months the most. The date was later in Feb. but they just moved it to just **a little while**. (**security reasons**) May the Lord bring them peace and comfort to all of them and may he have a safe trip there and safe while he is deployed. Praise God that they just moved close to my mom in Texas and we are just 10 hours away!

Also if you would keep my aunt, Sonia, in your prayers. I just found out from my mom that she is feeling depressed and finally went to the dr about this issue. I think the enemy is really using a few of us in the "depressed" department... I am struggling and it seems that my family is too.

Please ladies pray for us. We are enduring alot at this time and may the Lord bring healing into all of our hearts.

God bless each one of you who reads this post! I appreciate every thought and prayer!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Negative::Like always!

Yup that word again... Negative!

I went in this morning for a urine test to see if im PG and nope I am not!

It's okay though I will get over it! I have seen NEGATIVE for many many years now and again today! God will heal my heart as He always does.

Thanks ladies for your prayers!!! They are appreciated :)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

BFN! I hate home pregnancy tests!

Yes I said it... I HATE HOME PREGNANCY TEST and with that I will NOT buy anymore!!!

See with my 1st pregnancy that ended in miscarriage I tested with home pregnancy tests and all of the 10 I tested with were NEGATIVE but I had symptoms of pregnancy, but when I went to the hospital to do a test in a urine cup it was POSITIVE (weird huh?)

As you all know I was on 3 months of Provera (progesterone) and my cycles came every 28-29 days. They were weird cycles that would last for about 9 days of nothing but spotting but I thank the Lord for bringing on my cycle for those 3 months. I was told by Dr. Eid that if I was not pregnant by January that I would have to call and schedule an appt for further testing and to place me on Clomid (I DON'T want to be on those stupid pills!) They stress me OUT and it's not good for us when we have to "dance under the sheets" (as they call it) for like what 7 days... (Yes im venting...)

Ok im off my soap box excuse me...

So I took a test on Friday because I just couldn't stand my heart racing with so much anxiety since I am actually a week late already, so I ran to the PX and bought the digital, expensive ,$14.00, with 2 tests box and boom NEGATIVE.... Just like that... I hate those stupid sticks... They really suck!!! Sorry ladies please bear with me im in one of those moods!!! Maybe I am PMS'ing whoooooooooooo freakin knows.. LOL

So I will call in the morning so that I can do a test in the hospital...The only symptom I have is my face is breaking out which WAS a sign when I was preggo the 1st time.

Lord please help my attitude!

Love ya'll!!! Have a wonderful Sunday... :)

If I am PMS'ing here is a shirt I should be wearing.... LOL

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Quiet Time with God

Ladies... Do I have your attention?? I hope so...

I met a lady in 2004 before I became a Christian and I am telling you that the Lord had picked out this sweet lady in order for me to understand and start being my "husbands help meet." She was a lady in my church in NY that was starting a Bible Study for woman. She named it the Titus 2 Bible Study. I was not sure at first about it as it was described as "3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:3-5

In Nov. of 2004 I accepted my Lord & Savior and from there I decided to join this Bible Study. I remember how my life was at that time, how my marriage was on the rocks, but I was finally understanding that God was the center of our marriage and that thru Him all things are possible.

My heart was hard once I started this Bible study as I my marriage was hurting from many issues. One thing that I learned alot from Margie was how to come to the Lord and have your Quiet Time with Him!

I want to share the way she taught me and others:

Day 1 - Psalms (read a chapter from Psalms)

Day 2 - Confession (confess 3 things or more to Him)

Day 3 - Old Testament (read a chapter from the O.T.)

Day 4 - Thanksgiving (thank Him for any praises, etc.)

Day 5 - New Testament (read a chapter from the N.T.)

Day 6 - Requests (prayer requests for yourself or others)

Day 7 - Proverbs (read a chapter from Proverbs)

Day 8 - Listen (wait patiently and listen for Him)

She also writes:

*Keep it like an appointment, because it is!

*Guard it as a date with your lover, because it is!

*Keep Bible, pen, notebook, coffee/tea cup, reading glasses & shawl together in your "closet."

*Journal - date, section, a few key thoughts at least to help you focus and remember.

*Jot down any distracting thoughts in margin of journal.

I hope that this helps each one of you in your walk with the Lord. When I accepted Him into my heart I didn't know if I was praying right... I know there is no such thing as how to pray but this gave me light and till this day I can say that I am learning so much!

God bless all of you...

~i~ Melanie

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Before His Throne Prayer Blog

Hi ladies,

If you haven't yet seen the prayer blog that Aspiemom started up go to Before His Throne. Amanda and I are contributors to this blog as well so if you have any prayer request or praise reports please let either of us know. Our emails are on the blog so that you can email us the requests.

If you would like to place the blog button on your page please do so (the HTML code is there somewhere).

Thanks ladies for your prayers in advance!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Our King!

Here is our American Pitbull Terrier, King, that just turned 7 months (55 lbs)!

My husband has always wanted a Pit and well last July we decided on looking for one. Of course we have heard horror stories about pit bulls but in my experience with all pit bulls I've been around they seem to be good. I have been a person that has never been scared around any type of dogs especially this breed. He is a very caring pup and even though he is hyper he is our baby!
This is a pic that I took with my new cell phone (LG LOTUS! awesome cell) in our car coming back from Texas. He just wanted mommy to sit in the back seat with him! He is a B-A-B-Y!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Amanda... I tell ya she keeps me on my toes, but I LOVE it!!!
(smile :) Amanda)

Here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself.
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So here goes the 6 random things about me:

1. I have a long 2nd toe! LOL

2. I love to crochet different things. It has been a healing instrument for me!

3. I always have to talk to my mother before I go to sleep! If we don't get a chance she or I ends up texting messaging saying "goodnight!"

4. I went to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip with my church in NY. (will post about the mission in a few more posts.)

5. I would like to be a Special Education aide or teacher one day! (something the Lord has been laying in my heart)

6. I read the New Living Translation Bible!

Ok now to tag 6 of you....



Saturday, January 10, 2009

Moving Forward

I just added a new song onto my blog called "Moving Forward" by Mission 242 (I think).

This song has spoken to me lately... Alot of Praise & Worship songs have spoken to me lately and I love that feeling! The title of this song explains it all... I hope it speaks to you as well....

I am Moving Forward in 2009....

Friday, January 9, 2009

What can I post about today??

Well well well... It's 10 p.m. my time and I'm bored but I want to post something cause I'm bored! LOL (Ok im really tired so im giggly... ;)

Soooo something I would love for ya'll to be in prayer about for me is...... Now that my blog is private I can write whatever is on my heart! Tomorrow AF (cycle) should show her face if not Sunday if not then during the week who knows since I'm one that is IRREGULAR! As most of you know I was on Provera (progesterone pills) so that I could get a cycle every month and thank God it helped me get my cycle every 28 days for 3 months! I remember my GYN telling me that I could possibly get pregnant while being on those pills and it wouldn't harm the baby. She placed me on them for 3 months like I said and then she wanted to see me in January (this month) to then place me on Clomid. Well I haven't called the office as of yet just cause I don't know if im pregnant..... I am HOPING FOR A BFP (big fat positive).... Will you join me in prayer please?!??!

Another prayer I would ask for is as I start this new year out with a budget for the 1st time EVER that the Lord will give me peace, guide me, and strengthen me as I pay off my debt that I have had for years. This debt has been with me since before I met my husband (10 years). Some of you may know that I am trying to find a new job and well I think they are checking my credit and so that is probably why I'm not getting a job. I really wish they wouldn't check my credit but I know they have a policy they have to go by and well it's my fault.

Well I'm feeling a little sleepy now so I guess I will go snuggle with hubby...

Goodnight ladies...

God bless all of you and thank you in advance for your prayers! ~Melanie

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Husband Tag

I've been tagged by Amanda!

This tag is a "husband tag" so here I go...

5 Things Ralph Loves:

1. Lord & Savior
2. Me
3. His 2 boys
4. New York Yankees
5. The remote control (errrr)

5 Things on Ralph's "To Do" List:

1. watch football
2. watch the NY Yankees
3. sleep
4. watch tv (I know its the same as 1&2 but thats all he does!)
5. yell at drill sgts & privates (LOL seriously)

5 Foods Ralph Enjoys:

1. Puerto Rican food
2. Shrimp
3. Pizza
4. NY Cheesecake
5. Steak from Outback

5 Things You May Not Know About Ralph:

1. He is 8 years older than me
2. He has 2 boys, 16 & 11 yr old
3. He is from the Bronx
4. Has been in the Army for 16 years
5. He loves his pitbull pup, King

5 Quirky Things About Ralph:

1. He loves all type of music (he always says he was born in the wrong era)
2. He won't go to bed until im in bed
3. He is very picky
4. He takes the remote EVERYWHERE!
5. He sings crazy songs that he makes up (Amanda knows what im talking about she heard him!) LOL
This was really fun... Thanks for sharing Amanda!

PROXIMITY award from Rene!

This is one meaningful award! Thanks again Rene!!!

I got another bloggy award and well since I LOVE butterflies I'm all over this award!

Thanks to Rene for rewarding me this blog award!!!

The award is for PROXIMITY and it's explained this way:

"This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

Since this blog is very meaningful and all of you wonderful ladies have always been there for me there is NO way I can pick just 8, so with that said I am breaking the rules to this YES but its ok... So please who ever reads this its for you too!!!

Love all of you and may the year 2009 bring all of you many blessings....


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Yes, I've been MIA...

Hello to all my blog readers...

Yes I know I know I've been MIA and I am soooo sorry for not posting since before Christmas. I have been busy and was vacationing in Texas for 2 weeks! I had a fantastic time with family and friends and celebrated His birth and the New Years with such heart-warming family. Christmas Eve and New Years Eve was a little hard for me but the Lord gave me strength and I am MOVING FORWARD in 2009!

I made lots of New Years resolutions and am trying to stick by them daily! My #1 resolution that I will share is to have a "closer relationship with my Lord & Savior and to have a thirst for Him!"

I thought I would privatize my blog but I am going to wait a few more days till I get things together and update my blog.

Well I am a little lost for words right now since I am listening to praise and worship songs and I need to get on my knees and go to the Lord!