Good News & Sweet Doctor!!!

Well it is Good News and what a sweet dr!!! Thank you Lord for going before me and planning it ALL... You are awesome... Last night all I could think of was what the dr was going to tell me. We woke up this morning and as we were driving I felt so nervous. As we drove up to the hospital I felt so much peace and anxious all together. The staff ladies were so sweet to me! Thank you Lord! I sat next to hubby and filled out some paperwork they needed from me while they scanned my insurance card. As I sat there and waited I faced with 3 pregnant ladies. Why Lord is it so hard for me to see beautiful baby bumps and the glow of their faces?? Arrrrr... Since I have started crocheting I have felt that its helping me in a healing way. I feel that as I make things for others with babies that its like therapy. I never really thought of it but when I am in the making I feel as I am casting my worries to Him! Isn't it amazing how he creates your hands to make something so beautiful. Ok so I started crocheting in the waiting room and thought to myself what others may be thinking since I was doing a pink and white baby bootie. I was saying to myself "I bet those ladies think im pregnant, if only they knew the pain of sitting in there." I don't like to feel that way but at this moment in time thats what comes with suffering a pregnancy loss. I was called in and I asked hubby to come with. They took me to weigh me and im a woping 136 lbs. I would love to loose a few more pounds... They took us into a room and had me sit on the patient bed while hubby had to sit in a corner... She took my blood pressure and all is well. She then started asking me several questions about my last cycle, pregnancies, surgeries, etc... I HELD it all in and I did not cry ONCE!! GO ME GO ME!!! See the Lord went before me!!! He is so awesome! She then told me to undress from the waste down and wait for the dr. Was it cold in there or what! YIKES. I think they need to have heated patient beds.. LOL When the dr showed up she was so sweet. She looks so young! She asked me why I was there. I said for more than one thing. HOLD YOUR BREATH! Irregular cycles, miscarriage, D&C, Bicornuate Uterus, ummm is that enough or do I keep going? LOL She read my ultrasounds and my HSG and said she didn't see anything else abnormal. She thinks that my uterus is fine the way it is. She said she wants me to get regulated first so I will be on Provera for 3 months. After the 3 months I will go back in IF IM NOT PREGGO that is and she will start me on Clomid to help me ovulate. So to say the least I can say that it is "Good News!" Sending thanks to you Lord!

Blessed Sunday!

So today we went to church and how beautiful it was to be able to be a "church family" with such a beautiful couple renewing their vows. It was very touching and it made me realize that now that I am saved I would love to renew our vows too. We married in 2002 and I became a believer in Christ in 2004 so between those 2 years I can say I was "lost." I am found and walking with my Creator. As I think about tomorrows appointment with my new GYN I thank God for this dr, I thank God for whats to come. He does miracles and that is what we are hoping for. Sometimes I don't understand my body but He is the one that created me in my mothers womb! I have to believe that He can do anything. I am going in to that clinic with HOPE and TRUSTING in Him because thru him all things are possible... Well in a few hours we will be joining our church family AGAIN for the 2nd time today to watch the movie Fireproof. I will let you know how it is! Im really excited to see it...

Beautiful Day...

So today we woke up early and decided to go to Cracker Barrel... Yummy... I am to STOP drinking coffee any caffeine starting Monday since we are going to be offically "TTC'ing" if the doctor says all is well. I want my body to be cleaned and renewed! I spoke to a friend of mine that works at a health food store and she said a lady came in there this past week with irregular cycles and she has been on about 4 different supplements and she GETS her cycles. I know the Lord has my body in HIS hands so I will pray about these supplements that sound very good right now with my situation but I want to know if it's His will for me to take those. After our nice breakfast we went to my little cousin's soccer game! He did fantastic!! It was so pretty outside. We had a great time with our cousins. As my cousin and I were talking she mentioned my husband playing soccer with my other little cousin. As I looked all I could think of was "He needs a baby girl!" Then when we looked again he another little girl came to play with them. It was beautiful and the smile on his face was so touching to me. That just made the rest of my day! Lord thank you for a wonderful husband!

Where am I at now....

Ok so I think im finished blogging about what has happened in the past 6 months. Im not TOTALLY finished but for now I need to be up-2-date since we are TTC'ing. I was recently seen by a doctor who scheduled me a ultrasound and blood work to check my uterus and ovaries to rule out any abnormalities in my uterus and PCOS, then the bloodwork was to rule out any hormone levels. The bloodwork came back with no high levels so that means no PCOS and also nothing wrong with my pituritary gland (sp?). The ultrasound came back with a Bicornuate Uterus - is heart-shaped with two joined cavities whereas a typical uterus has a single cavity. On Monday, Sept. 29th I will be seeing a specialist regarding my uterus and cycles.

1 Peter 2:24 says, “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.”

Touched by my angel

One night as I lay in bed restless I was in prayer and asked the Lord for a touch. As I kept praying I asked for a touch from my sweet angel in Heaven. Not 5 seconds later I felt a thump on my forehead. After that I thanked Him and He gave me the rest I needed. Thank you Lord, You are mighty and to you I give you all the glory.

My Mother's Day

As a mother to a baby in Heaven and to two step boys I am thankful! On Mother's Day this year I went to a new church and as I walked in I was nervous and shy all together. As I was walking into the building I wanted to make sure that I was going into the right door so I asked this really nice girl around my age which door was the entrance. She was holding a little boys hand and told me "right thru here you can follow me." I didn't get her name and I just kept going straight. I was stopped at the entrance of the sanctuary by two young teenage girls that were handing out cards. Then I was given a bulletin. As I looked around I felt the Lord's presence. I sat down in the back area and looked thru the bulletin (how I miss my Parkside Family) I was a little early and so people were just coming in and introducing themselves. I opened the card and just started to cry. It said "Happy Mother's Day" on the front and it was handmade. I am SO into making cards, etc... that I was amazed. I opened it and there was such a beauiful saying inside. The Praise and Worship Team started and the song was "Praise you when Im grieving, praise you when im laughing..." I raised my hands to Him and just praised Him for everything. It was beautiful. At the end of the sermon there was an altar call and I went ahead and went up. As I stood there my pastor came up to me first and asked what I needed prayer for. I told her I had a miscarriage in March and I needed prayed and healing. She started to pray over me and called on another person to come pray with me that had gone thru the same exact thing. Since I was crying I couldn't really see who was praying for me. As I cleared my eyes it was "the girl that I asked where the door was to the entrance" after she prayed she hugged me and I said to her "I know why you opened that door for me" she cried with me and we exchanged numbers. Thank you Lord for Rachel. When I turned around to go back to my seat there was this mentally retarted child of God with his arms stretched out to give me a hug. As I pulled away from the hug he had tears in his eyes. I felt as if my angel in Heaven was hugging me. It was amazing. That was truly a beginning of HOPE!

Hours, Days, Weeks, Months later...

Ok so I will finally get up to date here since I just started this blog a few weeks ago I feel as if hours, days, weeks, and months are just flying by. Photos will follow of ultrasound pics and memory keepsakes when I get the chance to download them on here. I remember since it was Easter weekend my mom took me to Walmart about 2 days after everything and she had me sit in a wheelchair. As I sat in the wheelchair and watched people looking at me I just wanted to reach out to each pregnant women and tell them how lucky they are. It was SO hard to see pregnant women. Till this day its still hard. But God blessed me with a little belly for 3 months and I give Him thanks and have to give Him all the Glory for what He helped create in my womb thru my husband and I for a short and beautiful time. Thank you to my Heavenly Father. We love you baby Nehemiah. So back to my trip at Walmart with my mom and me in the wheelchair...LOL So since it was Easter they had alot of stuffed animals and I saw the cutest little lamb or maybe its a sheep..LOL I don't know my animals.. gosh! Since it had a little blue ribbon around the neck area I said "I want that one" since I felt our Angel In Heaven may be a boy. I slept with my little animal that night and it now sits on top of my dresser in our bedroom. It's something so small that reminds me of my baby Nehemiah. Verses that come to mind that have been revealed to me are:

"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." John 16:20

"So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:22

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

These scriptures have really calmed my heart in many occasions. I hope they speak to any of you who have had a loss or just are grieving. I remember when I was discharged they handed me a paper of a "Prenatal Death" support group. I called the number which was in the hospital and the lady told me "ma'am im sorry but we no longer have those since some ladies wouldn't show up we stopped holding those meetings" in my mind I was just fighting inside saying "how dare they!" I came to realize that thru His Word and His tender loving care that I have been blessed with I will be in His arms. How incredibly is He!!! Thank you Lord Jesus for letting me cling to You! When I think of what I've gone thru I know I am not alone. I think of the book of Job, of how he was such a godly man who went thru so much suffering but yet he remained faithful to God. I think of all those around me who have losts loved ones. I am NOT ALONE!

Days after...

After the D&C I came home to a wonderful family awaiting my arrival. I was kinda out of it since I had lost 1 1/2 liter of blood from everything. I was told I had to rest and just take it slow. Since I lost so much blood getting up from sitting or laying down was CRAZY. I felt as if my heart was going to come out of my head thats how bad it was. I was weak and just felt blah. I had to be on pills thru out the 24 hours to stop the contracting and the bleeding. The day after everything was Easter and boy did I want to be at church. My family said it just wasn't time for me to leave the house so I just stayed home. I wanted to praise & worship my Lord & Savior. I wanted to cry my heart out. I wanted prayer. I wanted my baby. I wanted my belly and everything else back to normal. It was so hard to see myself still pregnant. I still had a little bump and the tenderness. My nights where horrible. My nights where when I just broke down and held my belly knowing that once I had a special little one in there. (wow this is hard to write) I wanted my morning sickness back. I wanted everything back. My mom had bought a book from Joel Olsteen that came with a worship CD. One night we went to Walmart and on the way we put it on. How did I know that song had "It is Well With My Soul?" When it started to play I just cried knowing that the Lord was telling me the day I found out my baby's heart stopped that "it is well." So this song has a really big part in my life. Trying to cope with others pregnancy, babies, etc... has been hard since that very day. I pray each day that the Lord will heal my wounds. He has already started since. I thank you Lord Jesus for each and everyday you have given me and I also thank you for blessing me with a baby for the short time. As I saw the family off to there destinations was very hard. I felt alone knowing my hubby works 6 days a week with long hours. I started working and since then its been easier for me to be out of the house and not let it get to me too much. I do struggle don't get me wrong. I still miss my baby everyday. As I pondered a name for my baby I came up with Nehemiah since its in God's Word. It means "comforted by God" and I felt that it fit him. Even though I did not know if it was a boy or girl in my "mother intuition" I felt a boy! WE LOVE YOU NEHEMIAH and know that you are rejoicing with our Heavenly Father in Heaven.

The awful pills no one tells you about...

My 2 cousins, grandma and aunt finally had made it from a day drive from Minnesota for the Easter weekend and at that time I felt a little better. I hadn't yet taken those pills to start just because I was scared. I sat and talked with my family and communicated with my mom while she was driving to my house. I came upstairs and thought and prayed and asked the Lord to help me and to take care of me thru out the process of what was to come. At around 8p.m. I called a dear friend of mine from NY that was such an inspiration to me and I asked her if she would pray with me over the phone before I took the pills. I told her I was scared because of the awful symptoms it came with. As I sat in my closet with my Bible and on the phone with Margie I had the pills in my hand and took them after I said Amen. (Thank you Margie) After that I told my cousin that we needed to go get some BIG pads because I didn't have any. So we went to Walmart and shopped a little until I started cramping. The pills weren't to take effect till 10 - 12 hrs later... When we got home I tried to sleep but the back contractions where terrible. I was shaking and it was hard to lay on my back. With everything going on I didn't know what was going to happen in the next few hours. I was still waiting on my mom, aunt and grandma that were traveling from Texas. I was counting the hours till I started the "process of a miscarriage." At around 4 a.m. I just couldn't take it anymore. I got up and went downstairs and sat on the couch waiting for my mom, aunt and grandma to arrive. Around 4:30 a.m. they arrived and we sat in the living room and talked for awhile and cried. At around 5 a.m. I felt the "start" of the day. I got up and told my mom I think this is it. She went to the restroom with me and was with me the whole time. As I tried to lay down and rest I ended up taking a Vicodin since I was contracting. About 15 minutes later I had to go to the restroom again and all of the sudden I felt shaky and all I remember was telling my mom "I don't feel good" after that everything was black. All the sudden I felt water on my face and neck. I heard my Titi Evelyn in the background telling me to get up. She later on stated that I was sitting on the toilet with my head under the sink and my legs sticking out to the side. I was laid on the floor and thats when the EMT's came and started asking my name and how old I was. All i remember was a slight view of everyone around me. I remember my cousin Yamira sitting next to me holding my hand as the EMT started to check my pulse, etc. I cried to Yamira and told her "I want my baby." The were able to lift me up and walk me to a stretcher. As I passed my husband I glanced at such a sad face. That is a glance I will never in my life forget. As they rushed me to the ER I lay there while the EMT was talking to me. I can remember talking like crazy. LOL I bet the EMT thought I was crazy. They drew blood and started up some IV's. I was so weak from loosing so much blood. When I arrived to the ER they were so fast at taking care of me. The Lord blessed me with an awesome nurse. I didn't have on my contacts OR glasses and since I can't hardly see with out either of them all I can say was this nurse came from Heaven! She was so kind and polite I couldn't of asked for a nicer nurse. As she cleaned me up while we waited for the doctor to exam me she told me about 13 miscarriages that she had and how she was blessed with a little girl after all the heartache. What hope!!! Thank you Lord for blessing me with her. After the doctor came in to exam me he had my OB/GYN dr from L&D come and do an ultrasound to make sure I miscarried my little angel. I know I did at home! I am sure of that. She said that it appeared that I still had some remainings so she would have to do an Emergency D&C. I went ahead with it cause if not I could of hemmoraged. They took me to the operating room and I can remember then putting the sleepy stuff in my IV and drinking an awful cup of something that would help my tummy if it got upset during and after the surgery. I remember asking the nurse if she could have my husband come back so that I can tell him "I love him" and by the time I knew it I was waking up to him and the nurses. LOL I didn't have a chance to tell him I loved him but Im sure in his heart he knew (tear tear). He was such a champ and still is! Other than my Lord & Savior being my ROCK my husband is my another ROCK as well. Thank you Lord for blessing me with an awesome nurse, dr, husband and family!!! I am so so thankful to my Lord & Savior for having my mom arrive just at the RIGHT time. 30 minutes later when it all started I was able to hold my mothers hand all thru it. Your so amazing to me MOM. Thank you to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with a wonderful family!

Coming Home

After my husband and I made the decision to get a prescription so that I can start the process of miscarrying we went to our cars and I just sat there numb. I called my best friend, Danielle, (we were both pregnant) and I had to tell her just because we had been following each others pregnancies. It was so hard because she was pregnant. I thought to myself how in the world am I going to be able to hear the rest of her pregnancy and others?? (thats another blog later) I hung up with her and called everyone else I knew. Once I got home and waited for my husband to get back from going back to his job and asking for a week off I just sat in my house crying. I didn't want to go upstairs because the ultrasound pics of our angel were on our wall in our bedroom. I sat downstairs trying to take everything in. My husband finally came home and we went upstairs together. I asked him to please take down the pics of our angel baby and place them somewhere (tears are just flowing as I type this). He was so helpful even though I knew in my heart it was heartwrenching for him. He left me alone as I laid in my bed and called all my fellow friends in New York. I have such a special relationship with so many in NY that I knew the Lord had someone special for me. Of course the ones I really wanted to talk to were the ones that had already gone thru it. I stayed upstairs for HOURS! I was able to talk to my pastors wife in NY and that was so helpful even though my heart still hurt knowing I would have to get rid of this lil one in me soon. I finally called my mom and pleaded with her to come and be with us. She was so awesome that she left TX and was on her way with my grandma and aunt. Again thank you Mom, Abuela and Titi Evelyn for being such a great support for us.

Needed a break...

Whoa so that all those posts from yesterday was really really hard for me! I never really thought of just one day writing it all out and wow it hit me. So here goes the rest of what happened...

The day I will never forget

Morning sickness had stopped around my 8th week but I thought to myself im sure it comes and goes. I knew on the 21st of March I would be seeing my midwife anyway and I would let her know. I was excited to be able to hear our baby's heartbeat on the doppler. I also had my cousin, grandma, aunt and lil cousin coming for Easter weekend. I went in early for my appointment and talked to a few ladies in the waiting room as we waited for our midwife that was in the delivery room. I waited patiently and just read some magazines. After about 30 minutes my midwife back and called me into her room. She asked me all the questions and had me lay on the bed. I asked her if I could record her as she did the doppler and she said "sure." As I layed there she couldn't find the heartbeat. She just kept telling me she could only hear mine. At that moment I knew something was wrong. I layed there numb. She asked me to turn off my camera and lay there till her u/s machine came on. She put her hand on my thigh and told me to say a little prayer. I couldn't I was numb I didn't know what to do. My hubby wasn't around and all I wanted to do was scream. As she rubbed the warm jelly over my tummy she said "Im sorry but your baby didn't make it" she then said "It looks as if the baby is only 8w and your actually supposed to be 11w5d." I just cried. I wanted my mom and my hubby. She hugged me and had me wait in the room while she grabbed one of the drs on the floor. The dr came in and gave her opinion which was the same as my midwife. As I lay there putting my pants back on I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I remember hearing the hymn in my head "It is well, It is well with my soul." As I stood up she had me call my husband and of all days I couldn't get ahold of him. I called my mom and told her and she was so positive for me (Thank you Mom) I then called a friend so that she could get ahold of my husband and as I was leaving a message my husband was calling back. I still remember the words to him when I clicked over. I told him "Babe our baby died" all he kept saying was "what" I told him to meet me in L&D so that the dr could go over a few things. They sat me in another room which was another drs office. I sat there and cried while I waited for my husband. I felt so alone, so angry, so out of it. I didn't want it to be this way. This was our baby that we have been waiting for for years. When my husband walked in I just ran up and hugged him and we cried together. The dr came in and gave us 3 options 1. D&C 2. take some pills to start the process or 3. miscarry on my own. I sat there and looked at my husband and we just asked for some time to think about it. I went ahead with the pills and she said just to call if I have any questions or problems.

1st OB appointment

2 days after my 1st ultrasound I had an appt with my midwife for the 1st time. She was so sweet and talked to me about different things. She mentioned she was going to do an ultrasound in her room. I was so excited but in my mind I was saying to myself "go ahead even though they did one like 2 days ago" I went ahead and told her. I couldn't lie to her... LOL She said "oh ok well then we wont do another I will just do an examine." I said "oh well let me show you my ultrasound pic of my lil worm" she looked at it and said "lets do another one here because it seems as if the tech measured your baby wrong." I was so excited because I knew she would let me see our baby instead of being like the u/s tech... (no offensive to u/s techs, the one I had was selfish) As she spread that warm jelly she faced the monitor over to me and said look at your lil one... All I could say was "oh wow how cool" LOL I thought I would start crying but I didn't, I was amazed at what I was seeing. Nehemiah was moving like crazy and the heartbeat was just a going. She measured the baby and I was exactly 7w5d. She made me a follow up for March 21st.

1st Ultrasound

I got an ultrasound on February 7th. As the tech was viewing the baby she wouldn't say a word! I was nervous and just going crazy! Finally she had me empty out the FULL bladder and when I came back I said "Do you see a baby" she said "Oh yes im so sorry yes I do see the baby and the heartbeat is 134" I was so excited... She gave me a picture and I took it to my hubby and showed him "our lil worm." We sat there and kept asking each other well whats what!!LOL The tech measured the baby 7weeks 2days. We were so excited!!

Family Visit/Morning Sickness Began

My mom, dad, grandma, aunt, sister and neice came to visit me and my hubby on Valentines Day since we had moved to another state and well with me and my lovely morning sickness that had started around the 12th of Feb. I couldn't do A THING. (I would love to have morning sickness again) I was moving around like a lil snail and sleeping like a newborn baby. I was so excited to have my family around with so much to do in our brand new home. We went shopping for things for the house and my family decorated pretty much all of the house. What a blessing. THANK YOU MOM, DAD, ABUELA, TITI EVELYN, FAY AND NATALIE :) from the bottom of our hearts!!! I remember when we were going to have a dinner and my mom was going to cook pork and I kept telling them how it was making me sick... Thank you Nehemiah for keeping my tummy yucky... I loved it even though knowing I had a precious gift in my womb. Their stay was short and sweet and I thank the Lord everyday for my wonderful family He has blessed us with.

Headaches, Pimples, Tenderness...

After arriving to our next duty station I took about another 5 test while living in the hotel and still the BIG BFN. What the heck? Ok so headaches, lots of pimples, tenderness.... Hmmmm after moving into our new home I waited until I was signed into the clinic here in town inorder for me to get a preg. test. So I decided one day while looking for a job that I would run over to the clinic and get tested. As I sat in the toilet I did the urine test and prayed over the urine cup "What ever your will is for me Lord." That night I was cooking and "uh oh my cycle was starting" "well hello to you again" I thought.. LOL I gotta laugh with the way my body is... Thank you Lord!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

The next morning I went and took Destiny to the beauty "doogie" shop for a bath and cut and I sat in the car and remembered that I needed to call the nurse to find out my results from my test. I waited on the phone and the nurse came on and said "You are definately pregnant!" Wow I sat there and I didn't speak. I sat there in my car with tears and told the nurse "We have been waiting for so long" she said "Well congrates honey" I said "Well wait I started spotting last night" she said "that should be nothing to worry about just go to the ER" I went ahead and got off the phone and called my hubby. Well of course he didn't pick up so since I am new to this duty station I drove around the road he told me he worked at...LOL I got lost and then said to myself "Get to the ER" I called my mom and woke her up and said "Guess what mom, wake up, I am pregnant!" She was so excited she woke up my sister that was visiting and grandma and dad. I said "well I need to go to the ER cause im spotting." I got there and told the ER person my situation. At the same time im calling my church back in NY asking for prayers and trying to get ahold of my hubby. I decided to call my cousin to get ahold of her husband to get ahold of mine!! LOL As they checked me in a room they did blood test and also a cervix check. Cervix was not dilated and it was just implantation spotting. My HCG level was up in the 130's which doubled up 2 days later which meant all is well.

The frame

The end of December I started having symptoms of pregnancy!!! I of course thought it was just PMS but I went ahead and took about 5 pregnancy test from Walmart and all came out negative. So I just thought maybe it was just PMS. I kept taking test and they were still negative. I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond with my mom the 14th of January and while I was in the frame section I came across a frame with Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" on it and just glanced at it and moved on. In my mind I just thought and pondered the verse and said to myself "once I get home I will look that verse up in my Bible." We then went to a cute store that had all types of decorations, candles, frames, etc... The environment was so nice and Christian-like with a Hymn CD playing in the background. I felt at peace and felt so much joy that I just couldn't figure it out. My mom bought me a cute wall hanging decoration that says "Miracles do Happen just Believe" because of me desiring a baby. I felt so much HOPE I can't explain. Later on that day when we went home my mom, husband, and I were in the kitchen munching and talking and the thought of that verse came to mind. I stood there and my mouth just dropped. My mom and husband kept asking me "what?" I said "wow I can't believe it, there was a frame in Bed, Bath & Beyond that had this verse and look what I had written next to it back in Nov of 2007" as I looked at it I knew the Lord was trying to tell me something. The lil note I jotted down said "Lord I know that I need to have faith and hope for what I can not see which is a baby." They looked at me and just had a smile. I was so excited for what was to come (and still am).

The story of the painful procedure-HSG

It all started out in October 2004 when we started to TTC. Since I was irregular I decided to start seeing my dr regarding us trying but no cycles. BINGO no cycle no ovulation...HMMMM so where do I go from there? After many visits to the drs I asked if I could have my fallopian tubes checked out. Since I used to work with an OB/GYN I knew a little about what he did with his "infertility" patients. If I only knew the PAIN it came with I would of just said forget it. But no I went in like a champ!!! I remember how cold it was in the room and when the dr and radiologist came in they started the HSG procedure. Did ok until the fluid started to flow thru the tubes. WOW PRESSURE! All the sudden I started getting hot flashes and thought to myself well if I tear this blanket off well they will see EVERYTHING... All I wanted to do was scream but I controlled myself and just layed there patiently... I heard the radiologist mumble to my dr about my uterus but didn't think anything of it. Then all the sudden she said "ok dear your done, all the fluid went thru your fallopian tubes, no blockage" all I could say was "Thank you Lord!" She then said I will follow up with you in about a week with the results. In my mind I thought what results... Well when I went in she told me the same thing that my tubes were not blocked but then said the radiologist said your uterus appeared to be heartshaped. I said "Ok so what now" she said "oh thats nothing to worry about" and that was it. Never again did I look into it.

Dedication and waiting patiently...

The reason for this blog is because I would like to dedicate it to my precious angel in Heaven, Nehemiah who went to the Lord on March 22nd of 2008. I have gone thru many struggles in my journey of having a child of our own but know that the Lord's timing is whats more important than anything else. "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 Thru out my journey I will place scripture on here because it not only helps me walk with the Lord but I know will speak to many that has gone or is going thru similar situations. I would love for you to follow me as I go thru this journey.