Sunday, January 25, 2009

It's Official!

It's official that I finally decided on no more TTC'ing. (I can hear ya'll saying awwwww) No it's not awwww it's Praise God for He is the one that knows when it's our timing and I have to learn that I have to give everything to Him. I am not in control! I have canceled all my GYN appointments and will not take anymore medications!

Here's something I just discovered as I was typing this (Thank you Lord!):

We were living in NY for about 3 1/2 years because my husband is in the Army. I worked for a church that I love and am so blessed by called Parkside Bible Church. That is where I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and saw many things in my life change. When I found out we were going to have to leave NY to move to another state because my husband had to be a Drill Sgt. I was devastated! To make a long story short I came across this little journal book that would be my book for my church family to write their email addresses. You would never believe the scripture that is in front of it with a design! "He has made everything beautiful in its time..." Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

When I got this journal book I didn't really get it for the verse on it BUT I know why I got it NOW! Thank you Lord!
Yes I am about to put it out there... For the past few years of TTC'ing my life hasn't been the greatest. It's not easy, it's alot of stress, and it's(i mean stressing) not good for my marriage. I have learned that I can not have it my way anymore... The let downs I've had over the past few months have been painful ones BUT I've learned that thru Him all things are possible! I know I've said plenty of times WHY?, THIS IS NOT FAIR, WHY HER AND NOT ME, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND and I have learned that those words are negative and I want to live positive. Many loved ones have seen me pushing them away little by little but are always there to pick me up with an encouraging message and I thank ya'll for that. It's a time in my life that I have had to find myself in all of my grief, but while at church today I learned that GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY GRIEF! AMEN!!!

I am moving forward as I said before in another post... This year I am pointing towards goals in my life and with Him I can do it! I thank each of you for hoping and praying for a BFP for me. This will be my last post about TTC'ing!

TTC for me will now be called GITG... GIVING IT TO GOD!


~i~ Melanie


Brooke said...

I am so glad that you are finding peace. I hope that you wont get rid of your blog all together. I will miss you :( Lots of Love girl. I am proud of you.

Shaina N said...

Yay!!! I finally get to comment on your blog :)

I'll be praying for a BFP for you!!! One of my good friends has had a really long TTC road (although I think she's secretly pregnant right now and not telling anyone) but I understand and I'm so proud of you for GITG.

I don't know your journey of TTC.. but here is my advice. Even through GITG you can still try and be as healthy as possible! Try and eat right... and I HIGHLY recommend using a natural progesterone cream. It's healthy for you and helps you conceive... it works miracles. I always try to spread the word :)

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! You have no idea how much they have ment to me! I am so excited I get to follow your blog now!

God bless!


Abbie said...

Thanks for sharing with us. I am always so encouraged by your posts and thankful for having you around. I'm praying for you to achieve your goals this year!

maw82 said...

Hey girl !!! I am so glad you are accepting the peace with TTCin!! I wish I could just give it to Our Heavenly Father but I want this baby so bad I cant!!! Im scared that with all these problems I have I know I cant get preggo on my own!!!! I have an award for you on my blog!!!

AmandaHoyt said...

Oh Mel, I am so happy for you. I know how hard it has been and I'm hoping you will be able to be more peaceful as you GITG and just live your life in Him. I know you were meant to be a mommy and you will get your chance. I can feel it :)
Your journal cover reminded me of my favorite children's praise song that I learned when I was Caitlin's age. It was called, "In His Time." I've sang it many times over the years - especially since losing Noah - and it goes like this:

In His time
In His time
He makes all things beautiful
In His time

Lord my life to you I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to you a lovely thing
In Your Time.

Love you, friend.
I'm here if you need anything.

Hilary said...

Amen! Good for you for learning such a HARD truth!! To give it all to God. It's a tough one sometimes and one I feel we have to learn over and over....
I am so happy for you and the peace God is giving you in this decision. God will bless you for following His prompting! God WILL provide....God WILL bless you!
You are in my prayers!

Abbie said...

Hey, Melanie,

Nope, still having the pain in my ovary - I think I'm just going to wait it out and see if it gets worse. It's not too bad, I can certainly live with it, and I don't think it's anything too awful, so I'm just gonna wait it out. I have to go back in in two months to have them look at my other ovary, if I don't get pregnant by then, so I'll have it checked out then if it's still around. :)