Sunday, April 5, 2009

Alot

Well as my title reads "alot" because there is just so much to blog about... All is well in my end but my heart is heavy and hurting for many reasons.
_________

I hope everyone that reads my blog is doing well as I have not been reading anyone's blogs because I have just not had the time. With my new job it's been so tiring to come home and get on the computer because I actually make dinner and by 8 p.m. I want to be in bed!
_________

I tried out another church today and well it was a church that a friend of mine from New York attends and she has been wanting me to meet her there and so today was the day and when I arrived I kept looking around for her car. I walked in and asked a lady if Linda was there. She looked around and said she thought so. Well she asked the Pastor and comes to find out she was in a car accident yesterday evening and broke her leg. She is in another city in a hospital and will be having surgery tomorrow or Tuesday. Please be in prayer for Linda. Thank you!
_________

Another thing on my heart is for Baby Stellan. When I run home for lunch everyday to let the dogs out and grab some lunch I always check on MckMama's blog to check on Stellan. My heart hurts for this family. If you have never read her blog please go by it www.mycharmingkids.net. Please pray for the MckMama family!
_________

I have not said anything in awhile about my struggle with my loss a year ago and with that my heart is even heavier. I have been feeling fine for about 5 months and yesterday everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just sad. I just cried and I couldn't pin point what exactly was wrong with me. It's alot of things and I just needed to cry so I did. I felt that cloud over me like I did when I lost our sweet Nehemiah. Mother's Day is approaching and that was the HARDEST day of my life last year KNOWING that this year 2009 I would NOT have Nehemiah in my arms but in Heaven! Nehemiah you are truly missed and daddy and I love you very much.
_________

Hubby and I are still trying and waiting patiently as hard as that is. I don't understand my body and well I have no control over it. Like I said in a previous post that I wouldn't talk about our "journey of trying" but I have to let it out cause it makes me feel better I guess. We tried Clomid the month of March and but still had to take meds for my cycle and then the Clomid since my body is not regular STILL! I am so bothered by everything and I feel as if I am going backwards. I don't want to go backwards cause I know thats what the enemy wants. I took a test yesterday and it was negative but with the way my body is I still can be pregnant and a home pregnancy test come out negative like my 1st pregnancy. So I will wait a couple of days and EXPECT a + one day :) Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you!
_________

My last prayer request... I love my new job... but I have an interview tomorrow for a Government position that will follow with me when ever the Army decides to move us elsewhere. I am excited and sad all together. Of course I know the Lord has it all planned out and I just need to rest in His hands (im trying). Like I said I love my new job and the girls I work with BUT I also would love to work as a Government worker one day :) Please pray for God's Will.

God bless all of you! Congrats Abbie your pregnancy and congrats to all who are pregnant and may the Lord be with each of you who are still wanting and waiting...

Sticking with HEBREWS 11:1 always!!!

~i~ Melanie

9 comments:

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

wewll my friend god will see you through this hurt if any one can understand how you are feeling it is my a family of 4 and hubby is job less and we had to make several changes and endured a big loss of work income and so forth god was by our side durning this difulicult time and he will guide you to teh right desicison you will see . you make the desicion that you need for you and your family and follow yoru heart . i ask god to watch and guide u in this desicion m,aking and that you can find that plce to be happy and fel welcomed .

I am so sorry to hear about your friend but wondering if you indeed stayed in the service and how ytou liked the church? your friend guided to teh church and wanted u tehre .

I pray for all goos things for your family and yes i have been hurting oover stellan but he is a fighter and once again god is showing us the power of prayer amen .

pray that things start to turna nd that the new doc can help him out ammen.
take care and god bless michelle

Jim and April said...

im so sorry you have had a rough time lately...i understand...jeremiahs due date is tomorrow so ive been thinking about him and our other three more lately!

AmandaHoyt said...

I'm praying for you, friend.
Many hugs and much love,
Amanda

NeNe said...

glad to see you back- still praying and hoping for you!

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

miss you friend . hows the job checking in on you

Hilary said...

Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
Hope all is well!
Blessings....

Aspiemom said...

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you! Hope things are going well for you.

Carly Nicole Elliotte My Micro Preemie said...

Hey girl! I miss seeing you post. Hope everthing is alright on your end. Just thought I'd drop you a line to let you know I was still thinking of you.

Rachel

Misty Rice said...

Just stopping by to say hello. Haven't forgotten about you. I hope you have peace and are finding happiness more each day. I can't wait to see you back on here with all the good God had done in your life.